Daddy gets a ‘haircut’
For 10 years I’ve worked on the front line in an Auctioneers and have had to keep myself pretty presentable (note that ‘pretty’ is definitely used as an adjective here). So, after weeks (probably months really) of having unruly hair and no time get it cut I found myself in the city with a sleeping child in a buggy and at least a 20 – 30 minute window of opportunity. So I got it cut and by cut I mean ….shaved off.
So how did this go down in the ‘Poppins household’:
Well, the first one to see it was the Boo; when she fell asleep I had a full head of thick ‘straw-like’ hair and when she awoke I looked like I was an extra for ‘the boy in the striped pyjamas’.
Daddy:- ‘Hello my little Princess, did you have a nice sleep?’
The Boo:- **eyebrow raise** followed by a ‘Who are you?’ look. (We’re all about the brow movements in this family)
Daddy:- ‘Are you OK little lady?’
The Boo:- .’Oh, you’re Daddy’ she thinks after hearing my voice again. She then rubs my head and gives me a big toothy smile
Daddy:- I hope everyone reacts as well.
Daddy’s new haircut
The little man’s reaction:
LM: ‘What did you do to your hair?’
Daddy: ‘Why? whats up with my hair?’ puts his hand to his head and makes a ‘shocked face’
LM: ‘ It’s not nice’
LM: ‘It’ll grow back…… right?’
Daddy: Ok, so that could have gone better.
Mammy’s (The Bear’s) reaction:
First, it was ignored. Then a ‘look at the state of you’. (followed by the customary eyebrow twitch) **
**(swear words removed for the purpose of keeping the blog family friendly)
‘Supportive as always’, I thought. I wonder how that would go down as my leading comment when she next returns from the hairdressers.
(…….I’ll always have to wonder though because there’s no way I’d have the courage to say it)
So this week I came up with another new game. It’s kinda like a drinking/bingo game but as you’re minding kids you aren’t allowed to drink. The rules are simple. See how many of the following phrases you can get through in the week. If you get them all then you can have a Friday night drink I suppose.. (not that weren’t going to anyway after minding kids for the week)
- It’s good for some (best uttered with a ‘hard done by’ face)
- Come in for your dinner (has to said multiple times with increased volume)
- Does anyone have any darks? I’m putting a wash on (a real childhood favourite of mine)
- What time do you call this? (best used when making the international ‘watch symbol’ i.e. tapping your wrist)
- Get out from under my feet (usually said to the dogs)
- You treat this place like a hotel (a classic)
- Finish what’s in your mouth first
- No, it’s almost time for dinner (usually while trying to pull a child out of the ‘bold press’ while cooking a healthy dinner)
- You’ll get square eyes!! (the cautionary tale to tell kids that love tablets/TV)
- Ah ah!! Out of there (used to stall a toddler before you can pull them out of ‘there’)
- 5 minutes left…
- Put your shoes on we’ll be late!! (which in kid language directly translates to… continue whatever you’re doing, we’re in no rush)
- Where did you have them last? (usually when looking for shoes)
- Will you ever go to sleep (usually under your breath and through gritted teeth)
- You’ve had a hard day! (Be very careful with this one)
- Ask mammy/daddy (good blame/permission deflector) I’ll also accept: ‘what did mammy/daddy say?
- And If X stuck his hand in a fire would you? (The perfect response to the classic ‘older boys told me to do it’ defence) I’ll also accept regional variations such as ‘jump of a cliff/the pier’
- For the last time. Turn it down!! (no explanation needed here)
- You have ’till the count of 3……..1………2……….2 and a 1/2……..you’re lucky.
Why let you Parents have all the fun, there’s also a kids version:-
- Can I play Minecraft on the PlayStation? (usually when you’ve just sat down to chill out and watch something for the first time)
- I’m hungry (usually just after they go to bed)
- I’m thirsty (usually just after they go to bed and have used the ‘I’m hungry line’ already)
- I’m not hungry (usually at dinner time)
- Can I have a snack? (usually right after not eating dinner)
- Grrrrrr!! (when they return to a feral state after a decision they don’t like has been made)
- I didn’t hear you. (Usually screamed at you after you’ve called them 7 times)
- You weren’t calling me! (follow up phrase to the last)
- I’m not tired (while rubbing eyes)
- 5, no 10 more minutes. Ok? (usually uttered when a previously unresponsive child suddenly enters ‘professional negotiator’ mode)
- Why? (The correct response being ‘because I said so’)
- Can I ask you a question? (usually followed by something Minecraft related)
- Daddy Daddy Daddy (usually while pulling at your leg)
- I’m NOT Grumpy!!
Please note: the kids don’t get the ‘Friday night drink’ if they complete the list.
So what else have I learned this week:
Lesson number 1
‘No matter what toys a 10-month-old has, nothing beats ……keys’
Lesson number 2:
Never turn your back on a group of kids. (I should have learned from the ‘Nerf headshot’ incident)
Some power stances going on here
That’s all for this one. till next time