No blog again last week… what happened……. Battlefield 1 happened, that’s what.

So last night the Bear said ‘I’m off to bed, you coming?’

‘No, I’m just going to have a few minutes on the PlayStation’

The kids are finally asleep. The tiredness felt earlier in the day has miraculously disappeared at the possibility of ‘me time’ even if it eats into ‘sleep time’

‘Right it is now 11:20, I can get in an hour here and still get a decent sleep

Checks the time*

‘How the hell is it twenty past 3 in the morning?’

‘Right I better get to bed’

Definitely applies to me Definitely applies to me

As soon as I get into bed the Boo starts stirring…..

2 night feeds and plenty of whinging later I fall asleep. At least I assume I have. I cant remember a section of the night and I wasn’t drinking. (then again I’m missing a few hours during my gaming time too and I was definitely awake then)

BEEP BEEP BEEP, oh no !!!

Did I press snooze?

Why am I still in bed?

ARGH!!! 8:36….GO GO GO!!

Right, Kettle on….(get the coffee made before the mayhem begins!!)

‘Little man, get into your uniform for school’ (drops them beside him on the couch)

‘What do want for breakfast?’

‘mmmmmmmmmm……….’

‘We don’t have time for decisions!’

‘Wheetabix and Cheerios?’ (it’s going to be Aldi’s ‘Wheat bisks and Hoops though) 😉

‘Yeah, OK!’ (He’s playing his tablet and this is an auto-response but I’m going to take it and run with it)

‘Your cereals on the table!’

‘What cereal?’ (see, told you it was an auto response)

‘The one you asked for’

‘Huh?’

‘Get in here and eat it, you can get back on your tablet after’

still no sign of him…..

‘Why have you no pants on?’

‘I’m putting them on!!’ he says face glued to the tablet trying to pull up a pair of inside-out pants

‘Give me those’ I say in my most commanding voice (Although in retrospect it might be my ‘I still haven’t had my coffee yet and we are late’ voice)

‘Feet up’ I demand as I quickly switch the pants the right way round

Swoosh (as Nike would say), the pants are on.

‘Right, go eat your breakfast!’ I say as I put the tablet higher than he can reach.

I have his full attention now for some strange reason

‘You can have your tablet back when your breakfast is eaten’

Illustrative of the speed he moved to eat his breakfast

Illustrative of the speed he moved to eat his breakfast

‘Da, Dada, Daaaaa!’ mumbles the child monitor

(make the little man’s lunch or baby first, I think)

…lets get the lunch started quickly

Grabs a wrap from the press, ‘splosh’ of mayonnaise. Some grated cheese. Dice up some baby tomatoes, bang bang Bosh!! as the body couch would say.

’15 minute meals’, ‘ get outta it, ya slow couch!!’

8:46 not doing too bad

Right let’s grab the little one

‘Oh hello’

Beaming smiles (from both of us, she makes my day every day with her big sleepy head)

Down the stairs, we go

The little man is back on the couch with the tablet…… bowl emptied.

How it reached it up there I’ll never know.

‘Never doubt the resourcefulness of kids on a mission!’

‘Right Bella lets get you some food and that nappy changed’

Ready brek is thrown in the microwave, banana mashed.

It’s nappy changing time…..

I changed her nappy like a formula 1 pit crew I changed her nappy like a formula 1 pit crew

(*The above photo is by Dave Engledow: his photos are amazing. Find out more here.)

Then I change Bella into the clothes Mammy Bear has left out for her to wear (partly because she’s helpful but mainly because she doesn’t want to have to use the phrase ‘Did you really dress her up in that!’….. again)

8:55….. I’m getting there

‘Little Man, put on your socks!!’

*vacant stare

‘Little man …..socks’

no acknowledgement, he just keeps staring at the tablet

‘Socks!!’

no acknowledgement again just keeps staring at the tablet

‘LITTLE MAN!!!!, PUT ON YOUR SOCKS!!’

……….’there’s no need to shout’

So he starts putting on the socks and I take a second to try to remember what’s left to do.

……Coffee, I never drank my coffee. ‘That’ll help me remember’

‘Urgh! Cold Coffee.

Puts it in the microwave for 20 seconds. it’s going to be one of those days. (find out about my microwave versus coffee history here)

Starts to feed the Boo her breakfast.

3 spoons in and she doesn’t want anymore… typical.

‘Here,….. have the banana in your hand’.

Right…..what am I forgetting….’Sh*t..The lunch’

…Fruit, biscuits, a bottle of water. Done!!

Lunch in the schoolbag, schoolbag left by the door.

9:04 it’s going to be tight

‘Shoes on, into the Car Ben’

I put the Boo in the car seat and miraculously the little man has got himself together and is standing in the hallway with his shoes on and not only that but he has his coat on and is putting his bag on his back!!

9:07 Go Go Go

Wouldn’t you know there’s a queue to get out of the housing estate and stream of cars in either direction on the main road.

We finally get out onto the road and take the 5-minute drive.

9:15 We are looking for parking

So we find a space. Out we get… the little man rushes off into the yard and joins his line.

Phew!! The Bell isn’t for a minute yet.

I join the other parents outside the school, the Boo on my hip, getting the right kind of attention in her well picked out outfit (unlike when I dress her).

The only other man there is my neighbour (who looks a lot less frazzled than me).

‘Any craic?’ he says

No, just a normal morning!!’