The real story? eh? Whats going on? it has a bit of a ‘Hot Fuzz’ feel to the place (Its all a bit too sweet for my liking).

Balamory poses more questions than answers in my opinion. I’m just going to blurt them all out here in the hope that between us we can find out what really is happening in Balamory…


(You can’t just mention Hot fuzz and not include a video of the ‘Granny kick’ scene)

Anyway back to Balamory;

  • I wonder how Miss Holie works out her staffing rota. She never seems to know who’s coming to her nursery. Her knowledge of the required staff to child ratio is nnon-existent (This raises a little red flag in my mind)
  • What’s Spencer’s back story? Is he on the run? Or in witness protection? Who exactly is commissioning his work?
  • Who did the paint job on Archie’s castle. His roof tiles are destroyed in pink paint. If it was Spencer then I’d be certain he’s in witness protection.
  • Do they all only have 1 set of clothes each?
  • Do you get assigned a house and clothes colour when you first arrive on the island?
  • What happens when they run out of colours?

  • Why doesn’t Archie just come out with it and be honest to himself and the viewers; he’s a trust fund baby. Where does he get the neck to describe himself as an inventor, he’s hardly paid for that castle with a patent on a sheepdog made out of toilet rolls.
  • Where did Pocket and Sweet learn their stock level techniques? They’ve a shop the size of a bathroom but always have the item people want in stock. And if they ever don’t they use hypnosis or neuro-linguistic programming to make people purchase other items instead!

  • Why do they sing about going to the green house? Sure that’s Miss Holie’s and she’s the one asking the question. If they go there it’s to root around in her drawers when she’s in the nursery
  • PC Plum would want to go and be checked for Alzheimer’s. He’s always losing things and is soooo clumsy. Either that or he’s a high functioning alcoholic. maybe that’s why he’s so interested in ‘nature’

  • Is Josie Jump really her name? Could she be on the run too? ….Hence the name change.
  • If the current episode on the telly is series 2 episode 49.. how come it feels like there’s only 10 episodes in total? and how come I’ve been watching them all on repeat for months
  • Would Eadie McReadie be fired if they realised she stole her living room furniture from her bus?

Check out her nicked chairs Check out her nicked chairs

  • Have these people just been banished from mainland?
  • Is Balamory actually one of those special villages for people with Dementia and Alzheimer’s?
  • Come to think of it I’ve seen Miss Holie 13 times today and every time she’s asked what my name is?
  • Is Balamory like Shutter Island? Does that make PC Plum Leonardo Di Caprio? Di Capri-Sun maybe.
  • Pocket and Sweet definitely know the secrets of Balamory. Here they are teasing Miss Holie by telling her. Knowing she’ll have forgotten again soon.

The shock on her face says it all

  • Are the balloon hallucinations a side effect of the Alzheimer’s medication?

  • Is that why Josie is called Josie Jump? she can’t remember her real name, just her main characteristic.

Have you any clue? Please enlighten me in the comments…. What is the story in Balamory?