I’ve been nominated to do another tag this time by Zoe from lycrawidow.com

This tag #allaboutme is a ’10 facts about the blogger’ type thing and in my case its turned into an insight into some of the crazier crap and weird situations that I happen to have ended up in and some funny stories from my past . Once again…Its not really parenting related (I swear I’ll get back to that very soon)

Fact 1:

I once broke a hoover with my ass

It’s a hell of an opening statement isn’t it. I was about 7 maybe 8 and I was doing that thing kids do where you shimmy up up a door frame, by wedging yourself between both sides of it. When at the top I slipped and landed ass first on the metal pipe of a Nilfisk Hoover and bent it. Crushed. I always had rock hard buns. The proof is there.

It was this exact model and I literally flattened one of those metal pipes

It was this exact model and I literally flattened one of those metal pipes


Fact 2:

I have been a Dame in 2 different Pantos.

When in secondary school I saw it as a way to get out of class and meet girls. It worked (on both fronts). What harm, eh?. I still know most of one of the songs. (I’m dishy Dame Dishup from dear Wicklow town, my beauty is famous for miles..) my mother probably has footage of this somewhere. If she provides me with it ill stick it up here but I’m not going looking for it (and she’s not technically adept enough so I’m safe)

Fact 3:

I don’t go to the cinema but love movies

I love films and have thousands of DVDs and an android box to stream anything recently but I rarely go to the cinema. it’s just not worth it. I prefer to watch films in the comfort of my own home.

You can:

  • Pause when you want.
  • Pee when you want.
  • Don’t have to listen to hundreds of people eating popcorn or shiftin’ the heads of each other
  • You haven’t paid €50 for it
  • You haven’t had to get a baby sitter (another €50)
  • You aren’t thinking this is costing €100 to watch a film the whole way through it, (if I’m paying that mush I should at least be eating steak and be somewhat drunk).
  • Plot holes can be explained during ‘pause time’.

The last film I watched in the cinema was Kubo with Ben, previous to that it was the remake of the Evil Dead. No Star Wars, nothing.

Fact 4:

I’ve worked in all kinds of jobs

I’ve worked as a beach cleaner, car park attendant, factory worker, bar staff, bar manager, construction worker, computer sales, IT support, letting agent, auctioneer and now a stay at home dad.

Fact 5:

I lived in Holland for 6 months

and it was…… interesting. I worked on a building site from 7-4 and the Bear and I lived above an Irish pub. She worked in the pub from 4 till close. I came home from work and sat down at the bar. This was our ‘quality time’. Had a few drinks and partook in plenty of totally legal activities and played a few games of pool and chatted.

Fact 6:

My real name is not Daddy Poppins (shock horror),

I’m called Benny…..but that too is not the name on my birth cert. So here’s the back story. I come from a family of teachers and during the 80’s both myself and my brother attended the only boys’ primary school in my hometown. My father was a teacher there during this time. It was extremely awkward. (Not as awkward as my sexual education lesson in the same school. but that’s a whole blog’s worth of fun….. which is in the pipeline).

Anyway, my Dad was the spit of Benny Hill and Benny Hill was huge at the time. My father was also as far from Benny Hill in character as you could get (making it the perfect nickname for him). It attached itself to our entire family. Even my sister was called Benny for a period. The theme tune would be sung ‘at me’ at least once a week. My Son Ben is the only real Benny Finlay though (He’s like the real slim shady if you know what I mean).

My Dad teaching his class in 1988 My Dad teaching his class in 1988

Fact 7:

My surname is Scandinavian.

Finlay directly translates as ‘fair-haired warrior’ and considering Ireland’s history it’s most likely that I am a descendant of a lazy Viking that got off a longboat to plunder rape and pillage and decided he liked the ladies of Ireland and didn’t bother to get back on. That’s why I’m fair-haired and a warrior… Ok, that’s why I’m fair-haired and lazy then.

Fact 8:

Lies are the basis of my relationship

When I first started dating my wife we both lived in ‘hostel type’ student accommodation in Limerick, there was a huge common living area and kitchens and then we all had our own rooms with fridges etc. We were in 2 separate blocks within the same building. Anyway, we’d met each other out as part of a large group and kissed.

It was a time when mobile phones weren’t plentiful, there was no texting or WhatsApp. You had to show your interest in someone in person (and boy was I interested in her, she was and still is well out of my league).  So, I was feeling sick and decided that I’d use it as a ‘way in’ (a ballsy move). Her room was on the first floor of block C Shannonside hostel. so I called around and threw small pebbles at her window. (The Facebook poke of the day). She opened the window and I shouted up “have you any Lempsip? I think I’m getting a cold” she disappeared back from the window and came back to say she thought she had but couldn’t find them and threw me down the keys to come up while she looked. RESULT!!

Haha, little did she know I had Lemsip in my room.

Sneaky but effective

Sneaky but effective

About 10 years later drunk one night I confessed that I always had Lemsip in my room. She laughed aloud and told me that the only reason she’d gone back away from the window was to hide her Packet of Lemsip so she could ask me to come up while she looked.

We were made for each other We were made for each other

Fact 9:

“I climbed Mount Everest with a broken leg”

I once told a teacher when asked what I had done during the summer holidays that “I climbed Mount Everest with a broken leg”. I believed it too. I was very disappointed when he didn’t believe me. It transpires that I’d actually climbed Croagh Patrick in County Mayo in the west of Ireland with stitches in my knee (well I say climbed. I think my Da carried me for a good bit of it). It totally ruins the story when ya tell it like that though. I’m prone to an old exaggeration.

Fact 10:

I’m Cliff Richards biggest fan

Right, I’d totally forgotten this next one till I started doing this tag. Maybe I had blocked from my mind for a reason. I should really be telling a therapist this. Not the internet. Here goes. I once participated in a TV game show where I challenged an abseiler to come down a cliff face in 60 seconds, bursting balloons on either side as he went. I lost.

As a forfeit, I had to walk through the Main Street of my hometown in Wicklow singing ‘living doll’ by Cliff Richard through a loudspeaker while wearing an ‘I’m Cliffs number 1 Fan’ sandwich board.

Ok, that’s it. I’m off to have a little cry in the corner.