There was uproar today in a special sitting of the Far Far Away Circuit court over the downgraded charge and lenient sentencing of wealthy youth in a breaking and entering case (which has been dubbed the ‘Goldilocks and the Bears‘ case by the media).

The defendant, a Ms Jane Beteroff the third, (commonly know as Dutchess Goldilocks) was apprehended in the small hours of the morning at a family function in a large gated estate on the upper east side of the city.

Ms Beteroff, dressed immaculately in a pink Gucci dress, with matching bag and diamond encrusted Prada shoes entered a plea of guilty to the lesser charge of trespassing but denied out of hand; the criminal damage, breaking and entering and theft charges put to her.

The judge in question, the honourable justice I. M. Wright heard the arguments from both sides and quickly agreed with Ms Beteroff.

In a victim impact statement read to the court a tearful Mr Bear advised how his fur has started to fall out following the ordeal and that his family were now so fearful that they no longer felt comfortable ‘performing even the most natural of bodily functions in the area’.

“Does a Bear sh*t in the woods?….. Not anymore ”

— he whimpered

The gasps from the gallery were audible throughout the courthouse as the defendant was sentenced to only 4 hours community service (on a pony retreat for disadvantaged kids). In his closing summation, the Judge stated that her ‘lack of previous convictions and good family name’ were the reasons for such leniency.

Would this verdict and sentence be as lenient if the accused was a dwarf of colour or an Ogre from a broken home?” Ms Treated from the FCU (Fairytale Creatures Union) asked at the hastily arranged briefing on the steps outside the courthouse.

An impassioned Mama Bear added “It seems to be one rule for us and one rule for the them”