Illumibowl!! Where have you been all my life?
So Daddy Poppins is mid school run; the sink is full of dishes, the breakfast is in full flow, the dog is going ballistic at the the patio door window at some birds in the back garden and Daddy Poppins is regretting his late night gaming and craft beer session with every second that passes. Then a shriek from upstairs cuts through the breakfast melee….
The Bear: I’ll kill you!!
Daddy Poppins: (pauses think ‘what did I do?’) What?
The Bear: I just sat in pee!!
Daddy Poppins: (*kind of remembers stumbling round in the dark last night trying to find the toilet and ‘letting fly’ in hope, waiting to hear the porcelain or water sound rather than feel the splash of warm liquid in his shins) Your own pee or someone else’s? (He bravely ventures)
The Bear: (growling through her teeth) No, of course it’s not my own, yours!
Daddy Poppins: (still bluffing like a poker player holding a 2 and a 7, in different suits) How do you know it’s mine?
The Bear: Because I’m in the en suite and I sit down to use the toilet!!
Daddy Poppins: (feeling the ‘net of blame’ tighten around him) Can you prove it’s mine though. Beyond a reasonable doubt. (He’s doubling down on his bet)
The Bear: (Doing her ‘best Judge Judy’) Don’t push it. I’m sitting in wee!!
Daddy Poppins: *imagines her face and is glad he downstairs at this moment in time
The Bear: Next time put the toilet seat up!
Daddy Poppins: Then you’ll give out that I left it up!!
Narrator: That’s a bold move at this point in time for Daddy Poppins
The Bear: Well, put it back down afterwards!!
Daddy Poppins: And that’s not an admission of guilt, I might add!
The Bear: It should be!!
Daddy Poppins: I admit nothing!!
The Bear: *comes downstairs grabs a slice of toast, growls (in a very Bearlike way) and runs out the door to work.
Later that day: (when he really should be making the house spick and span to keep his wife calm)
Daddy Poppins gets a notification on twitter
You’ve been followed by ‘illumibowl’
Daddy Poppins: WHO?.
Now Daddy Poppins gets a lot of new followers every week. (But would still love you too if you aren’t already)
Daddy Poppins: What the hell is illumibowl?
….so on he reads.
Daddy Poppins: Holy Moly a light up Bowly!! Where were you guys yesterday? Eh?
So Daddy Poppins touches base and says He’d love to test one of their products and tell the world all about them in his blog.
Illumibowl: that sounds good, we love your blog, would you like one to give away to your readers too? (I’m paraphrasing to the best of my ability 😉)
Daddy Poppins: Too bloody right I would.
So the other day it arrived in the post..
if you’ve ever stumbled around drunkenly in the dark trying to pee in a toilet without waking your partner or fully wake yourself with a bright light in the middle of the night then illumibowl could be for you (being a dad it’s also perfect for nighttime trips from little boys and girls).
So, how does it work?
Well, You attach it to the toilet and it only comes on at night when you activate the sensor (It should be really handy on batteries).
Being a man, we love something to aim at and what’s better than an illuminated bowl eh? ….nothing.
How I imagine my bathroom now looks
I never thought I’d be excited about a light in my toilet. Like, IN my toilet. But I am it’s great. I’m not sure the Bear thinks it’s as great as I do but like I said to her.. “Do you want a light up toilet or to sit in pee”
The little man loves it too, that’s my son by the way. (Take your mind out of the gutter)
I can totally recommend this. It’s fun, for adults and kids alike. I’m all about the fun. So, to recap, If you have a child that makes nighttime trips or you stumble around drunkenly in the dark yourself then this is the gadget for you.
(Other totally acceptable reasons for wanting one include; wanting your toilet to look like a light show at the Trevi fountain, Rome or not wanting to argue with your wife about her sitting in pee)
Go and buy one now!! or enter the competition below and WIN ONE!!