Those of you who’ve been here (on DaddyPoppins.com, not the earth) for the long haul will know my thoughts on Christmas…… I love it!! But not in November!! (See, I’m only 50% Grinch).
Elongating the holidays just takes the good out of it, in my opinion, it waters down the festivities. Christmas is retail’s best time of year so they are only too happy to make it as long as possible, to those out there falling for the marketing I say “Ba humbug” (OK, maybe I’m 66% Grinch)
How I feel when people are all Christmas Christmas Christmas in November
Don’t get me wrong I love festive people, they’re actually the people who embrace the season and make it special. But keep it to Christmas, people!! Even the big man agrees with me….
Santa is on my side, your argument is invalid
That doesn’t mean that planning doesn’t need to be done, I’m not that silly, Santa is busy sourcing and building toys and you should be planning ahead too. There is nothing worse than giving or getting a crappy Christmas present is there? Whether you’ve forgotten someone and had to do some last minute gift purchase in a poorly stocked chemist (or worse still a 24 hour garage on Christmas day!!) or you’ve bought that ‘perfect gift’ and as the big ‘exchange moment’ draws ever closer you realise this isn’t going to go down well. So it begs the question…..
Whats the worst Christmas present you’ve ever received?
In the interest of science (translation: I needed a laugh) I put this out there on the net and had literally hundreds of replies, here are a few of my favourites (I’d love to have been a fly on the wall for some of these gift exchanges)
Yup, even the fly on the wall is embarrassed for you both
Here’s some of the stuff they got:
Erica over at the incidental parent said “A belly button warmer. They are a “thing” honest. Obviously a joke. Made even more amusing by the fact I don’t actually have a belly button 😜” (She’s not joking either, she doesn’t have one!! Its to do with operations rather than being an alien though).
Fran over at Whinge Whinge Wine said “A wine tasting. While pregnant (we announced it at Christmas)”. This must have been the ultimate ‘Oh crap, this really is the wrong gift’ moment. #cringefest
Sophia from Tattooed Tealady told me that on her “first Christmas with my partners family, we were all sat around the tree Christmas morning as I opened presents from my mum. Much to my horror, she’d decided lingerie and bondage gear was appropriate! It’s safe to say I was ‘laughed at’ all day!! Oooooohhhh!!!
If you could just swallow me now, before the dinner, please
Kirsty from the Winnettes said “An ex once bought me a Seinfeld box set that he wanted. I hate Seinfeld. I was not impressed as that was my only gift”
Coincidentally a lot of these ‘gifts’ mentioned the word ‘EX’
Lisa from the Irish Baby Fairy “was so excited at the big massive box under the tree… “ but not quite so excited when it turned out to be “A set of hubcaps for my car “ and of course she advised that, “he will never be allowed to forget it 😂😂 “
Jessica of That Mummy Blog’s tale is akin to an M Night Shalaman movie, “I was pregnant with my first daughter and sure that my now husband was going to propose! I opened the box and it was a ring! However not the ring I was expecting… It was a cock ring. I also got a vibrator and a dildo. Apparently, he thought that we’d need some help once the baby was born to spice things up again”. He did propose a week later though, who says romance is dead?
Coincidentally Jessica ‘saw dead people’ upon opening the gift too
Andrea from Office Mum received a “Silver chain”, whats wrong with that eh? Well, other than she “later found out he’d stolen it from his big sister”
Lisa from Baby not included, advised she received “A nightie with a huge teddy on the front with matching bed socks in a size 14 when I was a size 8” Word to the wise guys, never buy a lady clothes. Sizing is a minefield.
Side note for guys: never say this, its a joke
Aby from YouBabyMeMummy tells a tale of the ultimate regift fail, so what did she get? “a necklace that I’d lovingly given to my mum the year before!”
Eileen from 2 Nerds and A Baby said “A laptop. I’m not ungrateful at all I just wish he’d actually paid for it so Littlewoods weren’t hounding us every month 😂” and then followed up by saying, “Basically, he got me a shite credit rating for Christmas 😂”
Emmy from Misadventurousmummy received a beautifully thought out gift, “A pack of disposable skull themed lighters.. “they said you do still smoke don’t you?” Nope. And I’ve never smoked in my life…”
Charlotte over at the Mummy toolbox said “One year my biggest wrapped present that my dad made a fuss of turned out to be some bedroom blinds that we had ordered and they just happened to arrive near Christmas so he wrapped them. 😒 I was 14, and. Not. Amused” It’s a few years on at this stage but Daddy Poppins can still detect the ‘un-amused-ness’ of the gift.
Nick from Bad Dadu spilled the beans on a real ‘festive’ gift, “I know the worst Christmas present I’ve ever given: a rape alarm for my sister”.
Babs from the Depressed Housewife, had this to say, “Ok sooo I have a list……
1. A bird feeder and bird nuts it was on special in Aldi at the time..
2. A garlic crusher . . . . There are no words. . . .
3. A voucher for a tattoo…. that he used it on himself.
4. A box a tea bags”
Daddy Poppins would like to point out that all 4 of these gifts came from the same person and miraculously they are still together!!
Lewis from Dad Who Blogs said “I got a smoking jacket, a pair of driving gloves and more bottles of ‘Brut’ than I cared to count…. I was 19 and couldn’t drive”.
Have you used them yet Lewis?
Deborah from theClothesline.ie received “Gold sequinned bra and knickers”. She was 7 months pregnant at the time. Do she mention that on different occasions she received “Jump leads” and “a Violin”. OH! by the way, she doesn’t play the violin
Alan over at OMG its a girl received “A five-piece suitcase set from my parents for Christmas the year I was 17!! I think they were hinting at moving out!”
Subtle as a brick to the face