Some of the things people say are a bit mad aren’t they?
You know what I mean, popular sayings and turns of phrase that ‘roll off the tongue’ without a thought for where they come from. ‘The early bird gets the worm’ is a perfect example, Heather from Shank You Very Much recently asked: “Who the hell wants a worm, anyway?” (and she’s right, just like her, I’d prefer to be fashionably late with large coffee and a chocolate muffin in my hand too).
So, with this in mind, I decided to see if any of these phrases really ‘work’ in my household or am I more likely to rattle them off in a more literal ‘parenting context’?
- Don’t spill the Beans. (Honestly, I’ve no more clean outfits in the house).
- She’s fallen off the Wagon (go pick her up. I told you that wagon was a bad idea).
- You’re pulling my leg. (No really. Stop pulling it. I’m trying to load the dishwasher).
- Ask a silly question (…again, or the same question again and again and again).
- Blow your own trumpet (that’s your brothers, In fact, give up the noisy toys, both of you).
- Let the cat out of the bag (no really. Take it out. Don’t do it again)
- Children should be seen and not heard (let’s all take a minute to laugh at this)
- Chip on your shoulder (and there are beans everywhere!! I told you already there were no clean clothes!!)
- Dogs Dinner!! (…stop playing in the..)
- Has the cat got your tongue? (Probably serves you right for putting it in the bag)
- Kick back (I don’t care who kicked how first there’s no need to..)
- Let sleeping dogs lie (and stay away from his dinner too, ya hear me!!)
- My cup of tea (get away from it. It’s hot. Also see: ‘where did I put it down?’ and ‘I’ll stick it in the microwave it’ll be grand’)
- Don’t cry over spilt milk (or cornflakes, or spaghetti, or any messy foodstuff really … or not getting the right colour plate…. or even getting the exact thing you asked for 2 minutes ago).
- Pull your finger out (it’ll get stuck in there)
- The grass is greener on the other side of the fence (our neighbours mustn’t have kids).
- The writing is on the wall (please stop drawing on my walls!!).
- Things that go bump in the night (like kids falling out of their beds).
- When the shit hits the fan (you’ve to move the baby changing unit).
- The dye is cast (My new couch is ruined).
- Look before you leap (But taken very very literally).
- Get off my back (you’ll fall and I’m trying to fold the laundry here).
- Climbing the walls (stop, I’ll never get the footprints off).
- The gloves are off!! (Ah FFS!! It took 20 minutes to get them on).
- At the crack of dawn (remember when this was just a phrase instead of a time you saw?).
- Yellow streak (please don’t tell me this yellow streak is what I think it is).
- Off your rocker (see: Don’t fall…).
- In your birthday suit (you should be in your party outfit, not your birthday suit).
- Under the table (have you looked for it there).
- Movers and shakers (see ‘kids’ and ‘literal’ again).
- When life gives you lemons (Its take away night).
- Wash your mouth out (I told you not to eat it).
- Beats me (see ‘kids’).
- Foot in the door (Watch out!! your sisters got her…).
- New lease of life (See: ‘Bedtime with tired kids’).
- A sticky wicket (sticky everything really, cos ‘kids’. Could be worse though, it could be ‘yellow streaks’ or even …’brown’).
- Long time, no hear (I better go check what they are drawing on).
- Off the table (how many times do I have to tell you to get..).
- Come apart at the seams (See: ‘all your clothes’).
- If the shoe fits (Then it’ll do, were late, again).
- Take the biscuit (No really, take it, you just sent me out to get it).
- Stand up and be counted (*counts kids “Right everyone’s here! let’s go”).
- Will not wash (See: most stains on kids new clothes).
- Lost in the wash (See: the sock that completes the outfit)
- Get the elbow (see: ‘in your nuts while co-sleeping’)
So, there you go, a comprehensive list I feel.
Do you have any ‘turns of phrase’ that would mean something different if said aloud in your house? I’d love to hear them, hit me up in the comments.