Category

dad humour

Popular Sayings (said in a parenting context)

Some of the things people say are a bit mad aren’t they? You know what I mean, popular sayings and turns of phrase that ‘roll off the tongue’ without a thought for where they come from. ‘The early bird gets the worm’… Continue Reading →

Dad Music: Is it hip to be square?

At what point do Dads stop being their kids’ role models and become ‘square old fogies’ who are out of touch? It’s bound to happen, once again, the Simpsons called it way back… (see above image)   I mean, the… Continue Reading →

What is the funniest/strangest thing your kid has asked Santa for?

So, I had so much fun collating the ‘worst Christmas present you’ve ever received post‘ that I decided to ask the t’interwebs what the funniest/strangest thing their kid ever asked Santa for?

‘Twas a month before Christmas

  With the vomiting bug, we’ve all been knocked for 6 and no blog work has been done ☹️. So disregard the fact it’s actually December and take ‘a trip back in time’ to when I started this modern take on… Continue Reading →

Whats the worst Christmas present you’ve ever received?

There is nothing worse that giving or getting a crappy Christmas present is there? Whether you’ve forgotten someone and had to do some last minute gift purchase in a poorly stocked chemist (or worse still a 24 hour garage on Christmas day!!) or you’ve bought that ‘perfect gift’ and as the big ‘exchange moment’ draws ever closer you realise this isn’t going to go down well. So it begs the question…..

Whats the worst Christmas present you’ve ever received? 

What parents really want (and don’t want) for Christmas

What parents want A ‘real’ gift guide: Sleep (Imagine if I had an affiliate link for this!!). A child-free hangover (Actually, no hangover at all, just the night out without the feeling of dehydrated death that follows). try adding kids to… Continue Reading →

What I’ve learned in my first year as a stay at home dad

4 months after I became Daddy Poppins, I wrote a blog on what I’d learned so far. So now over a year in I’ve decided to update that list ..,, here goes ….  

Musical Beds

* Disclaimer: this is NOT a review for some amazing new bed which sings your kids to sleep (but if anyone out there has such a lifesaving product I’d love to hear from you). This is just me checking the… Continue Reading →

Bloggers and Christmas

I’m a f**kin’ Scrooge. (No, not really). I love Christmas. But Christmas is ‘at Christmas‘.   Early Xmas makes me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry!! 😡 I wrote a post last year about putting up your tree,… Continue Reading →

School Run (Beck Loser Parody)

  1. Daddy Poppins has new video software and wanted to test it out.

  2. Daddy Poppins also had a song going round in his head for the last week.

DISCLAIMER:

Daddy Poppins would officially like to apologise to, first and fore mostly; Beck, Society in general, anyone involved in any kind of video production, musicians as a whole, people who’s images he may have borrowed,  and last but by no means least….  you

Waiting for my child to fall asleep (in Meme form)

I might do better with less sleep that a most people but I’d prefer my  ‘night owl’ activities be of my own making and involve more PlayStation, boxsets, movies and craft beer rather than the Gruffallo and ‘baby nightime wind down’ songs (and being used as ‘a human climbing frame’). So as I wait for ‘the Boo’ to literally drop with tiredness, I’ve decided to express my feelings through memes.

Settling in at a crèche

Firstly and fore mostly, its not Daddy Poppins that needs settling in a creche, even if the Bear may suggest that he ‘needs bloody help‘ on a regular basis. I’m talking about when your kids need to enter some kind of childcare, of course!

The truth about ‘Flying with kids’

You’ve read all the top tips for flying with children’ type posts floating about the net. I must admit that I read a few before getting on a plane and thought, ‘Jaysus! There’s some great advice in these’.

However what happens when you actually get on a flight? Does it all goes as swimmingly as some mummy and daddy bloggers would have you believe? Do these tips and tricks guarantee a ‘Zen like’ flight?

So this year Daddy Poppins put it to the test. He decided that he and his family would take a 4 hour flight as their first trip together.

I mean,“What could go wrong?”

I’ll tell ya….

…Fucking everything

(Pardon my french and all but it’s the only way to describe it).

Investigation into ‘Workplace Eggcident’

  FAR FAR AWAY POLICE and the Health and Safety Authority (HSA) have opened investigations after a perfectly ‘oval being’ died in a workplace accident this morning.   The ‘egg-shaped‘ man, who is understood to be aged in his late… Continue Reading →

Things you say on holidays

    This is a small account of things both Daddy Poppins and his family have said on holidays. I’m sure you’ve said a good few of them before. Hope it gives you a laugh. Daddy Poppins: How is there… Continue Reading →

the ‘will we watch something on Netflix?’ argument

So, I’ve written about TV before and the struggle to watch it as a parent but let’s just pretend that all the planets in the cosmos line up and your nocturnal kids are settled in bed and it’s just you and your partner and the immortal words are spoken

Will we watch something on Netflix?

Now to the uninitiated this idea will sound like heaven; ‘a beautiful moment snuggled up as a couple ‘without kids’ on the couch’ but those of you with a partner with different taste in TV will know that this is the slippery slope into the 7th level of hell. No scratch that this is the descent into ‘argumentative purgatory’

Grumpy resting face

We’ve all heard of ‘Bitchy Resting Face‘, well apparently I’ve got ‘Grumpy Resting Face’

There’s nothing worse is there? You know what I mean. You’re doing your thing (reading, on your phone or watching the TV) and suddenly the conversation goes like this…

“What’s up with you?”

“Me? Nothing”

Blog 5: Karmas a B***h (How to spot CDO)

So I was just sitting there minding my own business, observing the Friday night ritual known as ‘wine o’clock’ between the Bear and an (as yet unnamed) neighbour. Then…. they got round to the subject of my blog.

Bear: I usually don’t know what he’s put up until one of the girls in my office tells me. Then I have to go and check what he’s said this week.

(quick glance in my direction)

Bear: One of the girls said they loved the blog but…..’He makes ya out to be some wagon?’

Daddy: Makes ya out?…..ha!

(not sure if I thought that or said it out loud, shit they’re looking over, time to slink back into ‘observation mode’… like a tortoise retreating into the sanctuary of his shell)

Bear: Sure look at him, sitting there on his phone probably taking notes. Ya can’t say nothing anymore.

(I splutter out an involuntary chuckle, as that’s exactly what I’m doing)

Bear: This better not go in your blog!!

Daddy: Hahahaha, I promise

Baby food is evil

So whats the hardest thing about being a stay at home dad?

Is it…. the cleaning, the school runs, the rushing from place to place, making dinners, the bedtimes, the constant Balamory and Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on TV, talking about Minecraft or the lack of adult interaction? No….in my opinion it’s baby food.

You see, I’m a picky enough eater, I like my food the way I like it (everyone else is wrong). I have plenty of what I’d call ‘quirky rules’ when eating;

  • tomato ketchup and beans do not mix (they come in a sauce for a reason)
  • ketchup and gravy should not be on the same plate
  • gravy and melted butter should not touch each other on the plate
  • white pepper goes on turnip and sweet potatoes, black pepper on meat and Italian
  • I don’t eat slop; porridge, soup mushy peas. URGH!!

Bingo and Buzz cuts

Daddy gets a ‘hair cut’

For 10 years I’ve worked on the front line in an Auctioneers and have had to keep myself pretty presentable (note that ‘pretty’ is definitely used as an adjective here). So, after weeks (probably months really) of having unruly hair and no time get it cut I found myself in the city with a sleeping child in a buggy and at least a 20 – 30 minute window of opportunity. So I got it cut and by cut I mean ….shaved off.

So how did this go down in the ‘Poppins household’:

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