Category

Fake News

Pontypandy: ‘Priced’ out of the market

Welsh town of Pontypandy decreases its annual safety spend by 678% After years of huge insurance premiums and counting the cost of ’emergency services call out charges’ the people of the small welsh village of Pontypandy decided they’d had enough…. Continue Reading →

Police’s Worldwide Warning:

The world sleeps with one eye open tonight, gripped by fear. The fear that once again an unknown individual or individuals will enter homes across the globe as you sleep. We send our roving reporter, Holly Bow out and about to ask what you thought…

 

“It’s like they see you when you are sleeping and know when your awake”, commented Terry Fied.

Investigation into ‘Workplace Eggcident’

  FAR FAR AWAY POLICE and the Health and Safety Authority (HSA) have opened investigations after a perfectly ‘oval being’ died in a workplace accident this morning.   The ‘egg-shaped‘ man, who is understood to be aged in his late… Continue Reading →

Witchhunt for Witchhunter

An 86-year-old woman murdered in a “targeted” fire attack on her unique ‘candy home’ last Saturday has been named by the Enchanted Forest Police

Ima Notawitch (known locally as ‘the witch’) was killed during the dawn blaze at her property in the centre of the Enchanted forest. This ‘colourful character’ ‘mysteriously appeared’ in the area in recent times and proceeded to painstakingly construct a home from gingerbread and other candy based materials in the hope of finding favour with the locals, mainly working class fairytale folk. 

PETA PROTEST PROPRIETOR OF PORTLAW’S ‘POPPING PETSHOP’

Police are investigating a local pet shop after second ‘weasel popping incident’ in recent times.

Goldilocks case – Court report

There was uproar today in a special sitting of the Far Far Away Circuit court over the downgraded charge and lenient sentencing of wealthy youth in a breaking and entering case (which has been dubbed the ‘Goldilocks and the Bears’ case by the media).

Breaking and Entering, suspect at large

Detectives in the Enchanted Forest area of Far Far Away are asking for the public’s help in identifying and apprehending a suspect in a recent breaking-and-entering incident. A short golden haired suspect is still at large.

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