Elves’ Union Say ‘No More!!’

Millions of believers will could be left presentless due to a potential Elf strike.

Elves in the North Pole are holding a 24-hour walkout over pay and festive conditions.

About 9.6 million toy builds/deliveries are likely to be cancelled or postponed as a result, forcing worried parents, who were relying upon Claus Inc. to bear the brunt of the Christmas overheads, to consider purchasing additional presents themselves.

“I don’t know how I’d afford all the stuff on my kids lists without them”, one worried parent exclaimed, “I might have to tell them they’ve been naughty”.

“All we are asking for is fair pay and conditions!”, screeched Merry McGlitterbutt, the head spokeself for the Elf Union. “We can’t get by on festive will and good cheer alone”, he added, “Us elves have got to eat too”.

The ’jolly’ fat man at the head of the company said the strikes were “regrettable and unjustified” and called for unions to come back to the negotiating table.

Despite the walkouts, Claus Inc. said more than 450 million of its deliveries, over 90% per cent of its schedule, would operate as normal.

“Clause Inc. has taken every step to minimise the disruption and we will notify our customers as early as possible advising them of the option to receive gifts on Boxing Day instead”, the company said.

“We want to again apologise to those affected by this unnecessary disruption and we ask the striking unions to continue negotiations instead of calling anymore unjustified strikes.”

“It’s not good enough”, said Ivan Itall, a concerned parent.

The strikes are centered around the increased workload during the festive season and what the Elf Union describes as ‘completely illegal shift policies’ that are employed by Claus Inc. during this time.

“There isn’t enough magic dust in the world to sustain the Elf workforce during this time. We’ve had enough! It’s about time the world saw Claus Inc. for what it is, a glorified sweatshop!”

Claus Inc. has, as yet, refused to allow ‘outsiders’ onto its premises to view what the elves describe as ‘horrendous working conditions’, stating that its exact location in the North Pole must be kept secret.

This one could go right down to the wire folks, more on it as it happens.

5 thoughts on “Elves’ Union Say ‘No More!!’

  1. I’m shocked that the “jolly man” is being so mean… what a scrooge!
    Thank you for sharing this with us at #TriumphantTales. I hope to see you back next year, merry christmas!

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